Some Assembly Required
by kdzl
Summary: JJ/Reid one-shot. How to deal with a genius.


**_AN/So, I still don't like the fact that I don't own Criminal Minds--but we all have to deal :)_**

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**_"I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming with a goal in front and not behind."_**

**_--George Bernard Shaw_**

"Part A needs to connect with Part C-14." Reid mused as he looked over the instructions.

"Spence, honey, it just goes like that." JJ said, connecting two parts together easily. Methodical and patient, Spencer could take three weeks to put together a table that would take JJ an hour. He was the king of over thinking instructions, pulling out levels and tape measures where they were far from needed.

"JJ, just be patient."

"I really would like this crib set up before the baby is born." JJ countered, rubbing her baby bump. While Will had taken a hand's off approach to her pregnancy with Henry, Reid was the exact opposite, engulfing himself into every parenting book that had been published since Dr. Spock had made his debut. JJ appreciated that Spence was genuinely excited, but his obsession with being a good parent had caused unforeseen problems. Like how JJ was going to be induced in a little over two weeks, and the nursery was still not finished.

"I'm being thorough; you wouldn't want our baby girl sleeping in anything that wasn't safe." Reid retorted, suddenly remembering what he had sworn to talk to his wife about. "Actually, do you think we got the right crib? The bars are .035 centimeters bigger than I'd like them to be, what if she gets her head stuck into her crib and we can't get it out. The safety rating is slightly lower than the model coming out in a couple of months..."

JJ couldn't help but laugh, not at the annoying dangerous crib statistics--those she found irritating. What she laughed at was that Reid refused to pick a name. It was a strange habit they had fallen into, not saying the name. When Spence had found out that they were having a girl, he compiled a list of suitable names that they could use once the baby was born. Stating that they needed to know the girl's temperament first-- which according to him manifested itself in the first few hours-- he refused to give the baby a name. So until March 15, their daughter would remain nameless. JJ wanted nothing more than to name their daughter, but she would leave that argument until after the crib was done.

"Honey, this is the best they have right now, and we really can't wait a couple of months. We don't have a couple of weeks." JJ interrupted. She was trying to be patient, but sometimes it was hard. When she had found out she was pregnant, she was going to just use Henry's old things, but Spence would have none of that. Firstly because he called the items 'outdated and dangerous' but JJ knew the truth. Spence wanted to provide for this baby and was not about to let her use the things that Will had helped her buy.

"Fine. Then I will finish setting up this death trap that you are so content on condemning our daughter to." Reid said annoyed. JJ didn't understand that perfection took time, she never thought towards the finish. True genius took patience.

"Mom, can I get some juice?" Henry five year old said, peeking into the room. JJ nodded, grateful for any reason to not have to watch Reid wage war on the crib.

The five year old grabbed her hand and led her to the kitchen, laughing as she picked him up and set him onto the counter. "What kind of juice do you want?" JJ asked as she opened the fridge.

"Apple please!" Henry shouted excitedly. He leaned over and rubbed JJ's large stomach. When JJ had told him that he was going to be a big brother, she'd been worried how he'd take it. But to her pleasant surprise, Henry was ecstatic. He loved his little sister already, always asking about her and what they could play together when she was born. As JJ poured the juice, she had a brilliant idea.

"Spence, how about you and Henry go get us some lunch? You know, good old boy bonding." JJ hollered, hoping Spence would take the bait. "You can work on the crib when you get back."

"Alright." Reid agreed, stepping into the kitchen. Grabbing Henry's hand he led the little boy. "Come on buddy, let's go." It did JJ's heart good to see Henry and his surrogate father. Will hadn't been a large part of their lives since they had split up and JJ was glad that Henry at least had a father figure. Reid and Henry were close, playing catch although Henry was already better than Reid; Spence read to Henry every night. Sometimes JJ wished that Reid was Henry's real father, but she was sure that the pair wouldn't be any closer even if he was.

JJ watched from the window until she saw the car pull out of the driveway. As soon as it was out of sight, she was off. Running into the room, she began placing together similar pieces. Easily finding which one connected to the other. She had it down to a science--just enough to quicken the process without Reid being able to tell she had done anything. It was easy assembly; she didn't even need the directions. She laughed at the mound of tools that Spence had hauled in there--she hadn't had to use even one of them. In less than a half an hour, she had half of the crib finished. Hearing the garage open, she raced to the kitchen.

"Hey." She said as the kitchen door opened, Reid and Henry carrying in some take-out Chinese. JJ played with her hair absent-mindedly, hoping that she hadn't done too much. She knew that Spence hated it that she was better with tools than he was, and normally she indulged him slightly, but she was at her wits end. She was not keeping her child in a box until Reid finally got around to finishing the crib.

"We got beef and broccoli and Mushu Pork, hope that's okay." Reid told her, afraid that he had chosen something completely out of her craving range. The last few months had been erratic in the Reid household, tears often being shed over too much garlic, not enough salt, and food containing shrimp. Up until nine months ago, Spence had never seen JJ cry, and now, he wasn't sure how to get her to stop.

"Um...Yeah, that's fine." JJ lied. While she was tempted to go into a tizzy, she decided that after going behind his back and putting up the crib, she could put on a happy face. Still JJ would kill for some dumplings.

"Don't cry mom." Henry piped in, worried at his mother's mood swings.

"I won't buddy, thanks." She smiled at him, still trying to keep her emotions in check.

Reid read right through her, after being married to her for three years, he was getting pretty good at telling when she was lying. "What did you do?" He asked concerned.

"Nothing." JJ said, giving Reid a winning smile. She sincerely hoped that he wouldn't inquire further.

Reid stood there for a moment, weighing his options. He really did want to know what she was up to, but if he could get her to eat something without breaking into tears, he'd take it. "I'll grab some drinks from the fridge. Henry, wash your hands."

JJ smiled to herself in triumph. Reid couldn't fail to notice JJ's throwing her arms in the air--Rocky style. "What?" He asked, laughing.

"I just---like broccoli?" JJ said lamely.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it." Reid laughed as Henry returned to the table. "Listen, I noticed that the faucet is leaking, so I'll try to fix it after I finish with the crib." He smiled. Sometimes it felt good to be the man of the house.

JJ immediately began cataloguing what needed to be fixed so that she could do it before Spence managed to destroy her kitchen again. Last time he had attempted to 'fix' anything related to plumbing, they had spent two weeks without water before he let her call in a professional. She had to stay home from work that day just to 'wait for the plumber' which meant she spent the day in her sweats as she quickly fixed the mess Spence had made with his wrench.

"Earth to JJ." Reid laughed as he noticed the distant look in her eyes.

"Oh, sorry honey, I was just thinking." JJ said, shaking her head to bring herself back to reality, unwilling to let her husband see her true motives.

"About what?" He asked, prying.

JJ was at a loss, then suddenly suppressed a grin. _It's time to pull out all the stops._ All she had to do, really, was to think of how much she had really wanted dumplings and the tears just flowed. "It's nothing." She sniffed, trying to repress the guilt she felt at manipulating her husband.

"Oh, Jayje...honey, I'm sorry. What's wrong?" Reid immediately fell into the loving husband role, and though he had not a clue as to what set her off this time, he was certain it had something to do with him--it usually did.

"I just..." She sniffed again, not necessarily for effect, "It's silly."

"Sweetheart, how can I make it better if you won't tell me?" He consoled her.

"I just really wanted dumplings." She admitted, feeling somewhat guilty for using her tears against her husband, but once again, she had the greater good in mind--she was not about to let Spence mess with her kitchen.

She immediately noticed the determination that washed over his adorable face. "Well, I'll go get you some dumplings, then." He insisted.

"Oh, Spence, you don't have to. I know how hard it is--"

"If it makes you stop crying, I'd go to Maine for lobster." Seeing her quiet contemplation of lobster, he added, "Though that would be a little extreme."

As he ran out the door, tugging Henry behind him, JJ snuck into the nursery and grabbed the wrench.

She quickly tightened the faucet, fixing the small leak underneath the sink while she was at it. It was really quite amazing how often she fixed things without Spence knowing it. She fought the urge to finish the crib, she couldn't blow her secret by doing too much at once. Remembering that she heard Reid mention fixing the lamp in their bedroom, she hurried and grabbed a pair of pliers. The circuit that shorted was easy to find, JJ conquered the lamp in less then five minutes. Hearing Spence walk through the door, JJ walked over to him.

"Your dumplings." He said, handing over the bag. When JJ had told him that they were having a baby, he knew that she was going to cry more than she used to. He just hadn't anticipated how differently her feelings to change. He loved his wife, but he could not wait to get that baby out of her.

"I love you!" JJ exclaimed, grabbing the soy sauce and dumplings.

"If I'd known you were that easy, I would have bought you dumplings years ago." Reid teased.

"If I had been pregnant years ago, I would have been this easy." JJ laughed, "Wait! I was pregnant years ago, and _you still didn't buy me dumplings!_" She felt her anger rise.

"You were dating someone else!" He defended. If he had known five years ago that she wanted dumplings, he probably would have bought her some; he was that in love with her, even then.

"What a joke that turned out to be." JJ grimaced. She didn't like remembering the men she dated before Reid, they had all been losers. While sometimes he made her angrier than she'd ever been, she was sure that he was the best thing out there. With the emotional resilience of a true pregnant woman, her anger subsided, leaving feelings of fondness for her sweet husband. She smiled as she remembered the first time she realized she was in love with him. Will had been gone for a few months and it was the first Valentine 's Day she'd been single. Ever. Always having boyfriend after the other, she wasn't sure what she was going to do. She had no idea what single people did on the greeting card holiday. Like a gift from heaven, Reid invited her to play Halo instead of dealing with everyone else's romances. Trudging along Henry, she played video games for the first time in her life. She'd been shocked to learn that she was actually good at Halo--very good. Spence still maintained that he let her win because he was trying to be chivalrous, but in truth, she whipped him. That was the first time she'd ever thought of him as anything more than the resident genius, and now, it was hard to think of him as anything less than the best person she'd ever known. He may not be good with tools, but she would pick him any day of the week. "Why did you invite me to play video games with you that day?"

"Because I thought you needed a friend and I wanted to be it." Reid shrugged. "Now eat your dumplings." He instructed as he thumbed through the couple's mail.

JJ gratefully speared one of the delicious morsels of pork and plopped it into her mouth. As she chewed, she watched her sweet husband carefully. She loved how he seemed to be at complete ease around her, something that would've never seemed like a possibility when they had first met. She loved how he seemed delicate, not fragile or weak, but more refined.

"JJ, I think our sink fixed itself again." Reid mused as he turned on the water. JJ stifled a giggle as she watched him stare at the sink in confusion. She loved when the genius Doctor Spencer Reid didn't understand something, it seemed like the world was suddenly becoming fair.

"Oh." JJ replied, nonchalantly. She'd have thought that Spence would be used to their appliances 'magically fixing' themselves by now. They'd been doing so for almost seven months.

"Well, I should get back to the crib building. We wouldn't want Baby Reid to be born without the proper welcoming." He laughed lightly, walking into the nursery. "Wow, I must be further along than I had thought. I think it's going to take me only fifteen more minutes before this meets the rigid standards set forth by Garcia."

JJ smiled to herself, knowing that if she were doing it, it would only take five. "That's great Spence."

"And you were worried that we wouldn't get it done in time." He teased.

"I should have had more faith in you. I'm sorry." JJ lied, walking in after him. He might think he was winning the battle, but she was actually winning the war. She'd spare him his masculinity…for now.


End file.
